Izzys been at the ABA center now for three weeks. I’ve seen more smiles and received more hugs in these past three weeks than I have in years. She has a lot of work to do, but I have no doubt that they will get her where she needs to be with time and love and guidance. The fact that the center is so small, she has so much individual attention and that Sara is amazing are beyond beneficial for our girl.

She has chores at the center…Izzy is doing chores! Vacuuming her therapy room, cleaning the sink and taking out the trash. Chores! She’s not always happy about them but she does them. They do yoga, meditation and takes walks around the neighborhood. And she does her school work and lots of crafts! She was so angry when we started this journey. She didn’t want to go to a “special school” and she was angry that we made this decision for her not with her. But as I thought she would, she is settling in and making strides.

And my Jackson. He’s starting his third week at Purdue. He has two weeks of band and one week of classes under his belt. He and Brad, his roommate, are getting along well and he’s feasting on chick-fil-a, sushi and Pizza like a college pro. There aren’t a lot of activities around campus to participate in due to Covid and the Protect Purdue plan, so I know there is downtime in which he can get a little bored, but he’s loving it all the same. Classes should pick up pace this week and homework is anticipated. He has a mix of online and in person classes. Band is a fun respite for him. He’s playing the bass trombone bc they needed a few more and he volunteered. He’s borrowing a university instrument. They have special instrument masks with a slit in them and a beautiful block P bell cover to help protect against Covid. We’ve been able to see him play and march the fight song and have several pictures of him in practice thanks to a wonderful Facebook page. Grateful for that.

I Snapchat with him at least once a day. I’ve found that snapping gets a response much faster than texting. Although most of the time it’s a crooked and less than handsome pic of his face or maybe the underside of his bed. Whatever-I enjoy what I get.

We had to run up there last Wednesday to deliver him a new computer. We were with him maybe 30 minutes, and when we were getting ready to leave, Izzy asked him for a hug. And then a second hug. He was baffled with her asking him for the hug. She told him “I’m a hugger now.” 😂

I feel like we’ve landed in this place where things are kind of status quo. For now. And it’s not a bad place to find ourselves. Jackson is happy and safe and following the Protect Purdue rules. Izzy is safe and growing at the ABA center. Todd is frustrated at work most days, but that’s nothing new and he’s trying hard to leave it at work…or on the road between work and home. And I’m so busy at work right now that I don’t seem to have time to miss Jackson or worry about how Izzys day is going. Weekends are a different story. We try to be busy at least one day of the weekend, but in the quiet weekend hours I find myself really missing my boy. So I’ve gotten my puzzle table back out and have found a good book series to occupy my time. I have a good friend who challenged me to do something with my time that I’ve always wanted to do but have never had time to do before. I keep thinking of what I want that to be but haven’t landed on anything yet.

I can’t believe it’s already September. Before I know it Jackson will be 19 and Izzy 13. We’ll be celebrating Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas and then we can leave 2020 behind us and look forward to a fresh and hopefully more stable and event-filled 2021. My mom always told me to not wish my life away… but I think most of us, including my mom, are ready for our next chapter/year. 😉

Jackson has been at Purdue for 24 hours at this point. We took today as a vacation day, but made Izzy go to ABA. So we had breakfast together, had a session with Brad together and ran some errands together. There were tears at ABA drop off, at breakfast and with Brad. I told Brad that I feel heavy and exhausted. I’ve been amping up for this time for months (18years really) and while I’m so incredibly excited and happy he’s at Purdue, I will miss him daily.

We actually got to FaceTime with him today because he has nothing much to do until Wednesday when Band Camp starts and I think he was tired of answering my text questions! Lol! He has been hanging out with his HS friends, has eaten at a dining hall (thanks to Jack G) and at the Triple X, has walked a lot and is going to his dorm’s social hour tonight. He was relaxed and smiling today.

Izzy is doing better this evening than she was last evening. She was sad and crying last night. She was sad and crying this morning. She’s happy and silly tonight. Thank goodness! She did ask to FaceTime him when she got home, and he graciously agreed.

I had her IEP revision meeting today with NWMS. They are being very flexible with us. Everything I requested, they granted. She is falling behind in online learning, we didn’t do anything Friday and we obviously didn’t catch up on anything this weekend. not worried. They’re getting us set up so we can get on the centers WiFi and we’ll be set up for online work at ABA!

As we redefine our family life with one of us living his best life 1.25 hours north of us, bear with us. We will find our new normal…..probably about late November when he comes home for the holidays

My kids had big weeks this week. Izzy had her first week of ABA and Jackson had his last week at home before leaving for Purdue. I have had a week of the stomach of anxiety and tears.

Izzy had been ready to start her ABA school. Her classmates had started school a week earlier and she was doing her online work, but she was bored and ready for a routine again. We had been waiting on insurance to approve ABA. I called several times with differing responses from the people I talked to. Monday I hit the jackpot and was finally transferred to a case manager who approved the authorization request on the spot. I was so overjoyed I literally told the case manager that I loved her and then I cried. I could probably bet a paycheck that she had never had a reaction like mine. 😂

So Izzy started her ABA journey on Tuesday at noon. Jane met us at the door with reassuring words and hugs. We met Izzys therapist, Sara, and they showed us Izzys room and the center. It’s in the third oldest building in Indianapolis. A very cool building! There’s an old church behind them and it plays church bells regularly throughout the day. It’s in the New Augusta area of Indy. Izzy is one of two kids doing ABA at the center right now. So it’s pretty quiet there. Her room is the size of a bedroom, and when we walked in, the bean bag chair Izzy asked Jane for was sitting in the corner. She was nervous, but brave. And she had a good first day.

Wednesday was a different story. She got up and ready and we had a good drive down, but when we got there she had tears in her eyes and she was so so sad. She was laying under her blanket crying when I left. I cried on my way to work. She texted me several times in the morning and at 10 she asked me to call over lunch. I was able to call, and she cried for the entire 30min call. I have never felt so sad. I got off that phone call and sobbed. I felt guilt and despair. Why did I do this to her? I took her from everything she knows and plopped her down in a ABA center far from home and where she knows no one. But then I got a text 20mins later from Sara saying she was doing better. That they were talking and doing “I am” statements while eating lunch; reminding me that there will be hard days, just like there were hard days at school; just like there were hard days at home. And the sadness lifted….for both of us. She asked to put together her rooms desk-and then told them it was child labor! Lol! The hug I got at pick up that day was amazing. The medicine I think we both needed. There is so much going on in our family right now on top of being in the middle of this pandemic. We need those “all-in” hugs to let each other know it’s gonna be just fine.

Thursday and Friday went really well for her. They have done painting and decorating in her room. They have made rules, done “I am” statements daily, and Izzy is talking to Sara! Talking = trust and comfort! Izzy grew crystals and then made me a pair of earrings out of them! They also started doing Yoga, and Izzy is leading their daily yoga sessions! So cool!! Sara is already amazing with Izzy. And when I said tonight “I really like Sara,” Izzy responded “I really do too, Mom.” I look forward to what this year of ABA will bring. I know we will have rough days, I know it will be a challenge for her. I am glad that Jackson will be at Purdue for those hard days. He’s lived with, and struggled through, a lot of hard days due to Izzys mental health and our (sometimes) lack of patience or knowledge in handling them and it’s time for him not to directly worry about that anymore. But I think we’ll come out on the other side so much better for the hard work and potentially difficult days ahead. I am grateful to God, and Brad, and Jane for this opportunity.

And then there’s Jackson. He is a day away from moving to college. He is ready. He is excited. He’s a smidge anxious. Which is exactly where he should be right now. We spent yesterday shopping and eating together. Yeah, maybe I spent $900 on him yesterday and gave him crap about being expensive, but we had a great day and made some fun memories and I needed that. Thanks to Griffins poopfest in the car, it’s a day neither one of us will forget!

Our lives are about to change in ways we don’t even fully comprehend. I know Jackson will be home in a few months but it won’t be the same. College changes you. For the better I think. You can come back home, but it will never be the same for any of us. The growth in terms of independence and responsibility and really living your own life are so remarkable and Jackson will experience those so quickly. And we will find our path and routines as a family living daily life without one, and that will change us as well. It’s time for Jackson to fly. We have prepared him as best we could, and I can’t wait to see where he soars to! 🇺🇸 VonBlon 2036 🇺🇸

It’s been two weeks since our big blow up and the suggestion from Brad to consider ABA for Izzy. I’ve done a lot of research, a lot of praying and she’s days away from being a kiddo at Autism Companion Services.

It’s been a good two weeks. She had a great 4th of July. She has enjoyed playing with Griffin lately, and didn’t kill him when he ripped a hole in Bearbears head! She had a fun session with Brad. And she has watched Hamilton about 52 times! I told her about the “autism school” on 7/6 and it didn’t go over very well. She was angry we didn’t include her in the decision, and she told her dad I was sending her to a concentration camp. Now there’s a dramatic, near teenage autistic girl for ya!

But since that day, she has settled into the idea and tonight when I said “ok, so we’re doing online Noblesville school at the Autism Center School, right?” She said “yeah” without attitude or anger. We decided we would still go tour Hamilton Heights Middle School next week so that when it’s time to go back to public school, she can make the decision of Noblesville or Heights.

Yesterday we met the centers Behavioral Analyst. Loved her. Sitting there chatting with her was like talking to an old friend who gets my life. My girl. My pride and heartbreak and goals. I think once her comfort level increases, Izzy will like Dr Angela a lot….Iz was pretty stand-off-ish toward her yesterday.

We are meeting with Jane (director of the center whom we met as a band mom 4 yrs ago) on Friday afternoon for Izzy to have a chance to ask her questions about the center. The center is brand new. It will be small. And I hope it’s perfect for our girl. I’m actually glad Jackson will be leaving soon after she starts with ABA. I think we’ll probably have some behaviors

I started writing this on Wednesday. It’s now Friday night. Izzy got herself together and made it to the rabbit show at the 4H fairgrounds this morning. Took three rabbits. Got three blues including a Best of Variety. It was so different this year, but she did great.

And we had our meeting with Jane today. We spent 90 mins with Izzy asking questions and Jane giving calm and wonderful answers. I really enjoyed watching Jane interact with Iz and was thrilled that Iz was able to ask Jane the questions we had written down. I think we were both filled with comfort and peace and I’m actually excited for this opportunity for Iz. She will spend her days with someone I trust and the people she hand picked to help her run the center. And God led us here, so that brings peace as well.

Izzy even agreed to no cell phone at the center (what?!?!) and the future of Bearbear is to be determined. I’m afraid that will be too much, but I’m not the professional and I need to leave that to them. I am the helper, not the leader. (Brad would be so proud). 😂

Today, Izzy had to go to her middle school to clean out her locker and pick up her yearbook. I prepped her several times yesterday… go in Door 1, they will give you a trash bag, you have to have a mask, leave text books behind, bag everything else, make sure to have your yearbook paper and go to the Cafeteria to get your yearbook, and then call Jackson when you’re done to see where he’s parked.

I said these words, I had her repeat them back to me, I repeated them again, I quizzed her on it. I texted everything to Jackson. I had this covered….

until she texted me when she got inside and didn’t remember where her locker was or the number.

I texted back – “I don’t have your locker number – ask a teacher, Mr. Stafford is there to help you if you need him”.

She replied “I don’t want to ask – guess I’m just f#*%ed”

Two minutes later, my phone rings. It’s Mr Stafford asking if Jackson might be able to come help because something has upset Izzy and she shut down. I told Mr Stafford she just needs her locker number. He was all “OHHHH! I can fix that!”

10 minutes later I get a notification that Izzy and Jackson have left NWMS, and a few minutes later I get a pic of her face in the yearbook.

But this, this was God, showing me again because I am a human who needs frequent reminders that things like this are the reasons she needs ABA therapy. So something like this (simple to you and me) won’t rock her world so severely.

I can’t say enough about the man who has taken our family under his therapeutic wing. I cannot thank him or tell him I appreciate him enough times to truly express my love and respect for him. He has become a safe harbour for me. A calmness for my internal storms. A voice of reason and a turnstile of ideas to help all of us navigate our days.

Friday he was raw and honest with Izzy. He is trying so hard to make this virtual therapy work for her, but in his words he’s “almost out of bullets.” and what we’ve done to date hasn’t broken through to her. I felt his hurt that he can’t help her through the screen. I know that professional hurt for those patients you hold dear. Makes you feel as if you’ve failed. And at the same time I felt Izzy’s immediate fear that she was about to lose him. I even started texting Todd in that moment that I thought we were about to break up. It was enough to pull her out of her hideyhole and into some conversation for a change.

Thursday night we had a huge blow up with Izzy. Huge. It was nasty and it was scary and it was very apparent that what we’ve been doing for Izzy isn’t doing for her what she needs. In desperation I messaged Brad. I needed to know when do I make the call for help. And who do I call? And how do I navigate this anger and these threats? And once again, he came through for me, being the voice of reason, providing advice and allowing God to speak to me through him and giving me answers to my prayers. That may seem extreme…but listen to this:

4 years ago, we met Jane. She was a marching band mom and even tho I rarely talk to people I don’t know, I talked to Jane. And I learned that Jane has an autistic daughter and Jane is an amazing advocate for the autistic community. We didn’t have an autism diagnosis yet, but Jane saw in Izzy things she really recognized and I have always felt she went above and beyond to build a little bond with our girl. Janes daughter graduated after Jackson’s Sophomore season, and my interactions with her essentially stopped. Izzy always remembered Jane though.

When Izzys autism diagnosis came April 2019, Jane was right there helping me learn about the Family Supports Waiver and talking to me about ABA. I poopooed ABA. It seemed overwhelming and uncomfortable to me. Instead I opted for therapy with a local speech pathologist and occupational therapist who specialize working with autistic kiddos. We had good sessions and not so good sessions but we saw some improvement. And I was satisfied.

But then she had a boyfriend who used her as his personal therapist and dumped all his crap on her and was constantly trying to hug her and hold her hand and she couldn’t take that. So she got out of that relationship and as a result, she suffered great depths of Depression and took a huge step backward in any gains she had made. And then hormones and periods and growing up and middle school stuff emerged and she became aggressive and angsty and forward progress stalled. And then Covid hit. And she’s been home since March 13. and, well, you’ve heard that story.

So today, when Brad responded to me, he started out by validating the fear and concern I had during Thursday nights horrible fight. And then he said he’s not a specialist in autism and maybe it’s time to consider ABA therapy where we can get full family support and where she can get appropriate behavioral and social and educational support and can come out on the other side with significant benefit. And he sent me a link to an ABA program to check out what they offer. And that link….yep, it was to Jane’s ABA center! Hello full circle. Hello Gods voice and direction. Thank you Brad.

I immediately reached out to Jane. And she immediately said we have a lot of work to do, but we will do it and she will be successful. We will have to disenroll her from public school and enroll her in their center/program. She will attend 830-430 daily. And she will receive therapy and education in an environment designed specifically for kiddos like Iz. Her Medicaid will pay 100% of fees. I will have to adjust my work a little, but I think they will be open to that. We haven’t committed yet, but I have a phone call Monday with Jane to get our long list of questions answered. Stay tuned.

I feel peace. And that is a good place to be.

Izzy had OT yesterday. OT has been difficult lately. She was frequently shutting down and being aggressive prior to Covid19, during stay-at-home she wouldn’t really participate in our virtual check-ins, and last visit being our first, she did participate, but the mask was a huge distraction.

Yesterday, Jackson drove her down to my office and then she and I went down to Beech Grove for her session. It’s about a 30 minute drive from here. She didn’t play on her phone, we chatted and laughed and listened to music. It was delightful. We got there, we sat down on a mattress, Vicki and Tatia said “today we’re going to do a reset and make some goals and see where we are and where we want to be in therapy” and she disengaged. She pulled her mask over her eyes, she laid down on the mattress and she sealed her lips….no talking from her. They asked her questions, she laid silent. So they asked me questions – and of course I answered. I gave goals I have for Izzy. They each gave goals that they have for Izzy. Izzy sat silent.

We moved away from the mattresses to a table where we could draw our goals and feelings, and we invited izzy to join us. She was silent and unmoving.

Rewind to our trip down to OT….she had a pen with her and she did a little drawing on her leg as a boredom or sensory “activity” and as we got out of the car at OT I absent-mindedly said “hope that ink can come off for our family pictures tonight.” And Izzy laughed and said “oh yeah! I forgot! I’ll get it off when we get home.” Fast forward back to my story…..she got up from the mattress, walked over to the bin where she had put her stuff, and grabbed that pen. She proceeded to walk back to the mattress and draw on nearly every inch of her legs. Lines, pictures, designs, big black boxes. I looked to Tatia and quietly said “she’s doing that to piss me off because we have family pictures tonight…..jokes on her – I’m not mad…..because I’m not the one who will look ridiculous in the pictures!” And I was proud of my own reaction to her attempt to “win” our silent argument.

When therapy was over, we silently walked to the car and got in. Izzy immediately said “I drew all over my legs to piss you off.” And I said “yep – I know.” And we drove away in silence. It takes about 5 minutes to get from their office to the interstate, and before we got to the interstate, Izzy had apologized for drawing on her legs, she promised to shower when we got home and scrub the ink off, she let me know why she was so upset during OT and she had a beautiful mood again. I didn’t have to preach or beg or ask any questions – she gave it all to me willingly and openly and it was great!

And guess what……she didn’t have ink on her legs for family pics!

We met with Brad last week. I miss seeing him face to face. There’s so much that happens in a therapy session that is so slight. A slight change in mood or body language or the energy in the room. And Brads good, but detecting those small changes is, understandably, difficult when doing therapy virtually. Especially with a kid who doesn’t love being in view of the camera.

We started out really good last session. Good moods, smiling and laughing. And then in the retelling of an interaction from the weekend, I ticked Izzy off and she completely shut down. And then just as quickly went into aggression and the monster in the room took over. The monster in the room sucked out all the good energy and the fresh oxygen and replaced it with anger and smog and poison. I saw the monster arrive. And I saw the monster take over Izzy. And I saw her anger and aggression grow. But I didn’t just see it. I 100% felt it too.

Brad tried to draw Iz in. He tried to get her to talk. She wouldn’t. I hate the quiet when he asks a question and she won’t answer. It’s so uncomfortable to me. But he tells me it’s ok. So I try to follow his lead. And when she won’t participate he has me talk. And I do. I’m sad and I feel like a failure…But I talk. And as we go on, she listen and mutters curse words and unkind things about us. And I continue to talk. And he talks to me. He knows she is listening. But he advises me. How to parent this. How to survive an autistic adolescent daughter. “Normal” adolescents suck. Autistic adolescents super suck. Except when they don’t. Because sometimes they don’t. My words, not Brads.

I told Brad that I have made a parenting mistake and I’m in the midst of trying to correct it. Well, I’ve made millions of parenting mistakes, but I’m working on correcting one in particular. My current situation is trying to stop doing everything for Izzy. I do far too much for her. I always have. I try to think ahead so we have every little thing she might need or want when we leave the house. I talk for her when she won’t. I fix every problem. I do it because social settings are hard for her. I do it to avoid anxiety for her. I do it because her fits are hard on me and everyone around us. I do it because I don’t want a fit or fight in public because they are horrible. I do it to make her life easier. And I used to think it also made my life easier.

It’s stressful though. Always trying to read every situation to avoid issues. Always trying to make everyone happy and comfortable. Always trying to think ahead about every possible scenario and how to navigate it all.

And it’s not good for Izzy.

So Izzy has lived a life where I have catered to her every whim. And now that she’s older and I realize what I’ve done and I need and want her to think for herself, problem solve for herself and be responsible for every thing she might need or want to have with her when we leave the house. She is often angry with me as a result. She wants the control and power that we’ve talked about before, in every situation. She wants to make demands that I immediately fulfill. And I want her to step up and take that on herself, while I take the role of helper. I want to offer help. And when she decides she wants or needs my help, I want her to ask me for the help and I will happily lend her a hand. I need to be her helper, not her do-er. I will step in and help sooner than the parent of a neurotypical kid might, I will absolutely still advocate hard for her. But I have to step back and give her the time and space to start doing some things for herself. As well as hold her to some standards of daily life….like chores and cleaning up after herself!

I recently had an intake interview with her new Medicaid Family Supports case manager. Her first question to me was: “what is your goal for Izzy as an adult?” My answer: “I want her to be able to be independent, live independently and do whatever will bring her joy and success.” Step #1….be a helper, not a do-er.

Brad will keep me accountable. Maybe you all will too.

I have had a stomach of anxiety now for a good 2 weeks. Sometimes it’s literally a upset stomach, somedays it’s an overall feeling of unease or unrest, somenights it’s laying in bed after letting Griffin out to potty at 1:30am running through lists in my head. But every day it’s anxiety of some sort.

We’ve merged onto a new road, seemingly an interstate. For the first time in my life as a parent, I am not in control of one of my kids’ next chapter. I think, other than just plain missing seeing his face on the daily, this will be the hardest thing for me to accept in terms of college. Jackson has the access, the correspondence, the responsibility to get everything done before his feet hit Purdue’s campus 8/15/2020. Uhh, wait – I’m not sure he’s responsible enough to do any of that! It’s such an unknown feeling for me, and I don’t think I’m handling it well! I need access, I need usernames and passwords, I need control!!! LOL

I really want to be the cool mom who just trusts that it will all get done, but that’s not in my wiring! I know that this really big, really special, really life changing event is hurtling my way and I want to do something to prepare! I sent his grad party invites out 5 weeks in advance because I needed to check something off my list! I have a list in my phone of things I want to have “on display” for his party. I have things for his dorm room waiting in my Amazon cart for the day I can hit “checkout.” I have lists in my head of things he should, and things he shouldn’t, take with him. I can’t wait until I can get rid of some of these lists! Yet at the same time I don’t want to check off my lists because I think this may be the last time I get to make some of these lists. We have raised such an independent, resourceful and smart young man, that he is standing on the edge of our nest about to jump out. How do those mama eagles let their eaglets just fly?

We have another new road ahead of us…we stand at the fork in the road and are going to be making a decision of which way to turn by August 1. Izzy has been accepted for a transfer to Hamilton Heights. She was completely against it when we first got the acceptance. But with this covid world we now live in, and the changes it may bring to a large school like Noblesville, we’ve put Heights back on the table. I need a school that will be in the classroom for Izzy, and it seems that’s more possible at Heights than Noblesville. We know nothing concrete at this time, but we have to make the decision that will make the most sense for Izzy and her strengths and weaknesses. She agreed to a tour, and so the principal of HHMS should be contacting us to get that done before too much longer. And I asked to be able to talk to the middle school TOR, as she would be on the frontlines of Izzy’s success or failure should we change schools. I am grateful for the opportunity to look at two programs and decide what will work best for our girl.

So for the foreseeable future, if you’re up at 1:30am, text me…I’m most certainly making a list, or checking it twice

It’s been 12 weeks since all of us really started this quarantine and social distancing. 12 weeks since Iz has really, actively participated in society. 12 weeks since she has had to maneuver a social situation that I wasn’t a part of. 12 weeks since she had to answer to someone in authority other than Todd or myself. School has been online, Brad sessions are online, OT/SLP is online and she hates all of it. Online is cool if it’s Roblox or jackbox tv games…..online is ok with Brad, online sucks for school and OT/SLP. Many many many prayers for in person school in the fall and that it not look too different.

While she didn’t like elearning, she did well once we found the ticket to our routine…which was alarms on the phone. When the alarm went off, it was time to work. If you work fast (but accurate) you get to spend the time until the next alarm doing whatever makes you happy. It worked well. She made it through and is now a 7th grade! (Gulp)

Anxiety still exists in an existence of quarantine and self distancing though. Not her typical anxiety….but anxiety about those zoom calls, anxiety about having to wear a mask in public, anxiety about the new puppy we recently brought home. We brought Griffin home as a surprise for the kids. I never thought that he would cause Izzy such anxiety. She’s anxious about him pooping and peeing in the house and about his crying when we put him “home.” She’s getting more accustomed to him, but it’s been hard for her. Earlier this week (while I was at work) she wasn’t putting him out much and he pooped twice in front of the door…it was the end of her world! Yesterday she got him outside about hourly and so he had no accidents in the house! Progress.

She’s found some friends online. I know, it makes me cringe too. I listen to their calls and read their messages. They are legit kids. They are kids who make her laugh (and curse…she has such a potty mouth sometimes) and they play roblox together. I wish she had kids she could/would play with in person. Again, anxiety.

She’s made the decision several days of late to not take her meds. Some days that works out. Some days not so much. Meds are definitely needed to get her more easily through her days/nights. and to keep her from blowing up at us when we get home from work. We’ve had a couple doozies here of late. She can be so mean. Mixing hormones in with mental health issues is toxic some days. And parenting that combo is challenging at best.

Hair pulling is fierce again. We don’t talk about it, there’s nothing I can really say that I haven’t said in the past 18mos and none of it really helps her. She shaves her head frequently, but I often times see remnants of a pulling session in the sink.

She’s ambivalent on Jackson’s impending departure at this point. I know she really has no idea what life will be like with him at college. But I’m calling it now, she’s gonna miss the heck out of him! 10 weeks until he heads out.

This corona virus period has been a time of mixed blessings and challenges for everyone. I am hopeful it hasn’t pushed her backwards too much in terms of her social skills and anxiety. Only time will tell. 12 weeks down, 8 to go before she hopefully steps back into the classroom, the classroom that doesn’t look too different.