It’s been nearly 4 years since Tommi announced he was transgender and wanted to use he/him pronouns and a different name. I’ll be honest at the time we thought it was probably just a phase, but that is no longer the case. Many questions, much research, much teaching and learning has happened. It’s still hard somedays. I miss Izzy, but believe Tommi is overall happier being Tommi.

I know it’s still just the beginning of his journey….and as he reaches the age of “adulthood” there will be many discussions and decisions ahead of us. Many will be difficult. There are differences in belief, strong emotions, political regulations and social norms we will butt up against. I will stand by him through it all, when our government tries to intervene in his life, when people judge him, when he finds special people in his life and on tough days when dysphoria is looming large. We said goodbye to Dr Scott last week in preparation for transferring to a new, gender affirming physician. He has come highly recommended, but damn it’s hard to leave the comfort and expertise of Scott…We’ve come a long way with him.

Yesterday I helped Tommi find something to wear to the pool. This is the first summer he said “I want swim trunks to wear with my binder” and so we went to the store and found swim trunks and we went to the pool with his binder and swim trunks. His binder does a good job of restricting his boobs, but he was nervous wearing it in public. As I spotted him across the pool once yesterday I thought he really does look more masculine today. The smile that brought was big and genuine. The pit in my stomach eased some with that smile.

Tommi has a girlfriend of a couple months now. They have the exact same birthday! I have talked with her over FaceTime and texted with her and she is a lovely person. I will be driving Tommi to NY in the Fall to meet her in person and spend several days with her.

Therapy is going well for Tommi. He likes Alex a lot and Alex has seen enough of Tommi to decide that Tommi is brilliant and needs to be either in improv or writing comedy sketches. Tommi thinks Alex is insane. 😂 Tommi told him last session that he “wasn’t as good as Brad yet, but with practice he may just be better than him!” High praise.

Todd, Tommi and I are heading out on vacation here soon. Niagara Falls, Hershey, Philadelphia, Washington DC and Canton. Prayers would be appreciated for safe travels and a good time in which attitudes and tempers are at bay for 8 days!

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13