A Facebook post to share to my blog….

A few weeks ago in church, our worship pastor talked about gently grabbing God by the collar and telling him, while holding on tight, that “God-you are my God…we’re doing this together, we’re gonna walk this together…I need you to hold me just as much as I’m gonna hold you…..I have built my house on you….You are with me. You will not fail me.”

I’ve found myself grabbing Gods lapel frequently of late. Holding on to Him. Talking to Him. Telling Him that I need Him and I’m walking this with Him as I literally pray with fists clenched…holding on. Holding on to so many things.

I’ve got you, Lord. And you’ve got me.

You’ve got me, Lord, in the happiness of seeing Jackson thrive and watching Tommi grow. You’ve got me in the amazingness of working everyday in my dream job with my best friend. But even in the midst of this good, grief and sadness keep creeping in. And it makes me quiet and tired, Lord. Todd and I are not entirely on the same page when it comes to transgender issues, treatments and how to best support Tommi. It’s hard to have that fragility between us. It’s heavy to carry and is something that we have to find common ground on. We will need brads help to get there and that time will come when it’s time to sit down and hash it all out. The good, bad, and the ugly…as cliche as that is. It’s also grief and sadness over all of the hate and fear rising up in our government in regards to transgender kids and adults. Why these adults are targeting trans kids… my kid….kids who just want to live their lives…it’s terrifying. They are being singled out and targeted. Their medical care is being compromised. Privacy is being thrown to the wayside. Values and beliefs that are not theirs are being forced upon them. And the risk of them hurting themselves, feeling devalued and dehumanized keeps hurtling upward. I’m scared for Tommis future.

And then there’s the damn trichotillamania that is raising its ugly head again. Tommi never really stopped pulling, but it’s worse right now. He pulls chunks out. And if you know where to look, you can see the bald patches again. It breaks my heart. We did a therapy session with Todd, me, Tommi and Brad this week and it broke my heart to watch him pull during therapy. He was so anxious about our therapy topic and he pulled so much. Broke. My. Heart. Once we got going, the pulling ceased, but I hate that’s his anxiety’s line of defense.

None of this is said to gain pity…I despise pity. It’s said to cleanse my mind and put Tommi in yours. What can you do for someone who is battling sadness, grief, segregation, bullying or unwanted battles? Grab on to our Lords collar and ask Him to help you help them, ask Him to hold you while you find ways to show them that Jesus loves them even in the midst of it. Ask Him to protect those being persecuted, those who are misunderstood, those who are scared and those less fortunate than ourselves.