Tommi has officially started sharing his goods with the public!

He has a Facebook page, a website, and his first big job! 100 cake balls and 100 thumbprint cookies!

He’s strongly considering the Farmers Market next season and is making plans about what he would need to make that prospect a success!

He’s getting a logo designed, and creating a business card! And with his first big pay, he’s going to open a debit card to … get this … save some money and buy some supplies!

Facebook: Tommi Makes Goodies

Instagram: @tommimakesgoodies

Website: http://www.tommimakesgoodies.com

Excited for what could lay ahead for Tommi. And praying he doesn’t get overwhelmed. This is what he wants to study in college and then do for a living.

I think as a parent, you can always look at your kids and picture them as a little kid. You remember the sweet or funny things they said and did and wonder how it all went by so fast. But in the same moment you marvel how they have became such amazing quasi-adults. We just spent the past 28 hours with our kids on a quick trip to Cincinnati to see Jimmy Buffett and it was really enjoyable. We didn’t have a single disagreement, we laughed and joked and thoroughly enjoyed each other.

The concert could have been a disaster. If you’ve ever been to a Buffett concert, you know the “clientele” he attracts. Fun-loving, beer-loving marijuana smoking parrot heads! And a lot of them. But thanks to Tommi’s growth, we made it through pretty much unscathed.

We got there about an hour before the concert. I let Tommi and Jackson pick our real estate on the lawn, and they chose center stage about half way back. Ok, awesome. We spread our blanket and people watched. Tommi smelled his first marijuana, we laughed at the outfits and chatted. My somewhat trained baby parrot heads were excited to dance along with Fins and Volcano and Cheeseburger

By 1/2 way through the concert, Tommi was camped out in the blanket and our real estate had gone from the size of a full size blanket to a bath mat. And without verbally communicating, Todd, Jackson and myself formed a barrier around Tommi to protect him from the increasingly drunk and high idiots surrounding us.

And with one exchange of looks between Tommi and myself with about 30 mins left, I knew we needed to get Tommi out of the ever expanding crowd. And one look from me to Todd and Jackson, they knew the same and we scooped up our stuff and like salmon swimming up river, we made our way through the sea of Buffett fans to the safety of the calm concourse. How cool is it that Jackson didn’t balk at leaving, he knew what Tommi needed and helped get him to a safe space…putting Tommi’s needs ahead of his own wants.

Once in the concourse, Tommi smiled and danced and sang until the concert was over. And despite the long walk back to the car, he stayed talkative and funny. The next day he introduced us all to rolled ice cream, and absolute delight, and we spent some fun time exploring the Newport Aquarium… a highlight of the Cincinnati area.

Tommi has shown such growth of late. I say that a lot. But he changes and grows frequently and I’m starting to see some good maturation in him.

Tommi and Jackson have really bonded this summer. They have three weeks left before Jackson leaves for school again, and I’m slightly worried Tommi will be sad when he leaves this time.

My only wish at this point is that he’d go back to in-person school. Or a hybrid program. But under the advice of Tommi’s psychiatrist, we have to go at his speed. So we will.

Tommi has started a baking business via Facebook. He’s willing to make anything a customer asks for, but his speciality is key lime pie. He’s about ready to add dog treats to his menu! It’s fun and exciting and makes him some money. So if you want some yummys for you or your dog-reach out to Tommi Makes Goodies on FB Messenger and place your order!

It’s been a year since Tommi came out to us. 7/3/2021. 1 year. 365 days. 3 names. Many hours asking questions, doing research, trying to be the best ally I can be.

I remember talking to Brad on July 15, 2021 about Tommis announcement. I remember telling him I wanted to do this perfectly. And I remember him chuckling and telling me to forget that…it will never happen. Oh how right he was!

Instead of trying to be perfect, Brad recommended just being there. Acknowledging I was going to make mistakes, admitting to them as I made them and just doing my best to use preferred name and pronouns and being Tommi’s number one advocate…as I’ve done his entire life.

I remember talking about Tommi being way ahead of me on the LGBTQ+ train and me trying to jump on the train that Tommi had already boarded and was flying ahead of me on. I had to just scramble to digest all this information and then grab hold of the caboose and hang on for dear life. I knew next to nothing, but I think I knew more than Todd at that time.

I remember being amazed at how much Tommi knew about this community he was entering, and how I wasn’t sure how to tell anyone. Tommi was happy and excited. I hid my tears. Tommi was ready to reveal his true self in that time and place. I was terrified what it all meant to me. Tommi demanded respect, I tried to give that.

My biggest regret was how I told my mom, dad and sister. I didn’t do it in the way they deserved, and will forever be regretful for that. I just didn’t know how to say the words that early on. And without Brads guidance I don’t think I would have successfully told the rest of my family and would have continued to flounder when my patients asked about my daughter, Izzy.

With lots of therapy (lol) we made it through his birthday, meeting his boyfriend and writing “Tommi” on his Christmas presents.

And here we are…1 year later….

Tommi is surrounded and accepted by a large village of friends and family. I don’t know that he realizes how lucky he is. I actually believe he expects it. There is no one in his immediate circle who is unaccepting. He lives in a safe place. He is a blessed member of the LGBTQ+ community. I hope someday he realizes how blessed he is.

I have spent hours not only with Brad, but also attending PFLAG and Gender Nexus TransParent support group meetings to inform myself and become the Ally that Tommi needs and deserves. This is my role in Tommis journey-to be his Ally, Advocate and MamaBear.

Sure people mess up his pronouns. I’m probably 98% on using the right pronouns now. And until last week when I called him Izzy twice (!), we all solidly use his preferred name. I do have trouble calling him my son, or Jackson’s brother, but that will come with more time (and therapy).

We just pulled up to the party we go to annually on July 3 and Tommi said “you know what this means? It means I came out a year ago.” Oh child, I know! I will never forget.

So now we move to grieving Izzy. Something I never did. I was so frantic to get up to speed that I never mourned losing my daughter. Tommi doesn’t understand why we would need to do that. Which is why Tommi won’t be a part of this process. Brad will help us. He gave us a list of questions last month to ponder and answer. They are tough questions, reading through them the first time brought tears … Things we miss about Izzy, proud moments with Izzy, things we are willing to let go of, things we have to let go of. Todd and I worked through them and then talked through our answers together, and I think with Brads lead I can find that peace in moving on and placing Izzy in a special corner of my heart ♥️