It’s been nearly two weeks since Tommi went to see Dr Scott to discuss many issues. We spent 40 mins with him and came away with encouragement, truth and drugs.

In the last 2 weeks I’ve seen a lot of pacing, a lot of anxiety that fades quickly, a much more routine bedtime and a kid who is taking medicine without fighting. A kid who is realizing meds will help. A kid who seems to realize anxiety causes all sorts of physical reactions such as breathing issues, tinnitus, sweaty hands and clicking jaws among other things. I’ve witnessed much more calm, many more smiles, and hugs. Lots of hugs.

I’ve also witnessed a kid with Gender dysphoria who is once again suffering through a long and arduous period. We were in hopes he would have a lighter period or no period this first cycle after getting the depo shot. No luck. It came late but it’s been heavy and it’s caused anger and panic and I think his hormones are flying around his body at the speed of light.

We have house guests this week. Lilo (dog), Otis and Chicken Joe (ducks). Tommi loves animals, and I’ve always wanted a duck. We put the ducks in my bathroom so that we could interact with them more. Within hours, he was not so in love with the ducks. Ducks have a certain smell. And right now while Tommis senses are SO VERY HEIGHTENED the smell was literally killing Tommi. So we had to move the ducks to the garage (that was a good move, believe me. This mama, who has always wanted a duck of her own, has realized ducks are smelly and messy and they don’t want me to hold/snuggle them and my life is easier just being Mama V to Otis and Chicken Joe.

And the grief. One of my favorite humans passed away 4/6/22. It was sudden and unexpected for me. And it completely devastated me. I had a trip to see her planned for early May. I couldn’t wait to hug her and spend time soaking in her love. But I didn’t make it. Tommi was by my side when mom and dad delivered the news. And as I completely lost my mind and sobbed into my moms chest, Tommi gathered himself and became my caregiver. He got me tissue, ice water, hugged me and sat in quiet with me for the evening. He as been so caring and loving and genuine with me since Wednesday. And then I got sick and he has been so gracious and helpful. This is a new side of Tommi.

And…Tommi thinks about the future! A new and profound discovery! He has mentioned to me several times of late that he’s concerned when he moves out that he won’t be economically stable enough to pay bills. And how he’d like to keep ordering hello fresh because it’s a helpful way to cook for himself because he won’t know how to go to the grocery. And he’s asked about credit and debit and how much apartments cost. and every time he says something along those lines I celebrate because I never imagined he’d be having any of those thoughts!

So on the whole, drugs have been helpful. Ducks are no longer on the bucket list, periods suck and grief holds on strong….