A week ago tonight we were status quo. ABA, work, school, new puppy lov, enjoying nice weather and getting ready for spring cleaning. Izzy had her 1/2 birthday Saturday and we celebrated with dinner at BJ’s Brewhouse (one of her favs). Sunday we had a kind of explosive day-attitudes and annoyance between the three of us, but by evening Todd and Izzy were happily making fun of me as I cried over Dr Pol (an amazing veterinarian show on Hulu).

And then came Monday.

But a little background first. I haven’t been all that thrilled with our ABA therapists and experiences since about early March. Izzy seemed to be sliding backward some, it seemed she wasn’t getting much beneficial therapy at the center and she was getting angry pretty easily at home again. She told me she was alone quite a bit of the time at the center, but she said it was because her program was based on self maintenance and so she needed to be alone. I said something to Angela. Angela said something to the therapists. Shortly thereafter, Angela stepped down as the Clinical Director at the center. She would stay on as a consultant and continue to be in charge of Izzys program.

March 31 the tic she had developed became really frequent and a bit scary. Angela was about to go on spring break, but told the therapists she wanted them in the room with Izzy and the tic documented. Despite being told that someone should always be with her, she was still left alone at times while having a motor tic that frequently ended with her hitting herself in the head, not to mention the the director of Izzys program had told them to stay with her.

So back to Monday.

When Angela returned to the center after spring break, well, she called me to let me know things were not good and she quit. My first thought was “oh shit” but I think I said “well, good for you” because I firmly believe that if your job isn’t what you need it to be and people are directly defying you, then you need to move on. But “oh shit” because Angela was who I trusted there with Izzy. Angela was who knew Izzy and loved her. Angela was why I hadn’t pulled Izzy earlier. Angela is what we need going forward. So I asked her “Ok, what should we do about Izzy?” And without hesitation she said “I’d pull her.”

This is when I would normally talk to my work friends (which I did because they are right there and they help me so much) and then I’d make the decision all by myself. But with Brad’s voice in my mind, I instead called Todd to tell him and get his opinion—we are a parenting team.

And much to my surprise Todd didn’t say “whatever you want to do I’ll support you.” He said “well, I trust Angela 100% and so I think we need to pull her.” Wow. Me too.

I called one more person in our ABA village before we pulled the plug. I called Jasmon. Jasmon is Izzys previous ABA therapist. And she is amazing and when we had to change therapists in February, Jasmon then quit her position at the center. But she told us on her last day that she will always be there for Iz. So I called Jasmon. I told her what was happening and she said “I agree, you need to pull Izzy.” And then she did the most amazing thing possible. She answered my concern with it being 4 months until school started in the Fall and I didn’t want her to revert on all of her progress with “I will volunteer to spend a day or two each week with Izzy. Keep her on track and prepared to start school in person in the Fall.” I told her I couldn’t pay her, she told me I didn’t hear her say the word volunteer. And through my tears I said “I can never thank you enough.”

So with that our decision was made. I had to tell Izzy, but couldn’t call her, and I wasn’t ready to tell the owner, so I texted Izzy. I told her via text that it was her last day at the clinic and when she came home she needed to bring all her stuff with her. And also, she couldn’t say anything to anyone for awhile because I hadn’t told anyone yet. And ya know what? She did it with only a little bit of anxiety. That, was the most amazing thing to see! I changed her whole world in the blink of an eye….and she didn’t panic.

So the rest of the week she’s been home doing homework and chores. She has taken meds, eaten dinner with us and spent her evenings downstairs with us. It’s been delightful. She has talked about things that upset her at the center, things she enjoyed and things she learned. We don’t regret her time there… quite the opposite. She learned so much and grew so much. And she now handles her life, her frustrations, herself in more productive ways. And we met Angela and Jasmon, who both would do anything needed to help us.

Today was her annual IEP case conference. We did it with Noblesville West because we don’t yet know where she will land in August and so we move forward as if she will return to noblesville. Angela was there with me as an advocate for Izzy and it went well. Our biggest concern is behaviors re-emerging, and with a daily behavior chart from her TOR, we can monitor that. Angela will help along the way as we need it. We will be in good hands with her in our village.

Izzy didn’t quite finish her program or get the “graduation” celebration with her therapists. But what she got is far more important. She got parents who put her first, who did what was best for her and who love and support her with all their hearts.

So this Friday night we are home with a girl who has taken two walks around the neighborhood today. Who is going to hang out with her Bio-sister and see her Biological Mom on Sunday and who constantly amazes me with her strength and resilience.