I can’t say enough about the man who has taken our family under his therapeutic wing. I cannot thank him or tell him I appreciate him enough times to truly express my love and respect for him. He has become a safe harbour for me. A calmness for my internal storms. A voice of reason and a turnstile of ideas to help all of us navigate our days.

Friday he was raw and honest with Izzy. He is trying so hard to make this virtual therapy work for her, but in his words he’s “almost out of bullets.” and what we’ve done to date hasn’t broken through to her. I felt his hurt that he can’t help her through the screen. I know that professional hurt for those patients you hold dear. Makes you feel as if you’ve failed. And at the same time I felt Izzy’s immediate fear that she was about to lose him. I even started texting Todd in that moment that I thought we were about to break up. It was enough to pull her out of her hideyhole and into some conversation for a change.

Thursday night we had a huge blow up with Izzy. Huge. It was nasty and it was scary and it was very apparent that what we’ve been doing for Izzy isn’t doing for her what she needs. In desperation I messaged Brad. I needed to know when do I make the call for help. And who do I call? And how do I navigate this anger and these threats? And once again, he came through for me, being the voice of reason, providing advice and allowing God to speak to me through him and giving me answers to my prayers. That may seem extreme…but listen to this:

4 years ago, we met Jane. She was a marching band mom and even tho I rarely talk to people I don’t know, I talked to Jane. And I learned that Jane has an autistic daughter and Jane is an amazing advocate for the autistic community. We didn’t have an autism diagnosis yet, but Jane saw in Izzy things she really recognized and I have always felt she went above and beyond to build a little bond with our girl. Janes daughter graduated after Jackson’s Sophomore season, and my interactions with her essentially stopped. Izzy always remembered Jane though.

When Izzys autism diagnosis came April 2019, Jane was right there helping me learn about the Family Supports Waiver and talking to me about ABA. I poopooed ABA. It seemed overwhelming and uncomfortable to me. Instead I opted for therapy with a local speech pathologist and occupational therapist who specialize working with autistic kiddos. We had good sessions and not so good sessions but we saw some improvement. And I was satisfied.

But then she had a boyfriend who used her as his personal therapist and dumped all his crap on her and was constantly trying to hug her and hold her hand and she couldn’t take that. So she got out of that relationship and as a result, she suffered great depths of Depression and took a huge step backward in any gains she had made. And then hormones and periods and growing up and middle school stuff emerged and she became aggressive and angsty and forward progress stalled. And then Covid hit. And she’s been home since March 13. and, well, you’ve heard that story.

So today, when Brad responded to me, he started out by validating the fear and concern I had during Thursday nights horrible fight. And then he said he’s not a specialist in autism and maybe it’s time to consider ABA therapy where we can get full family support and where she can get appropriate behavioral and social and educational support and can come out on the other side with significant benefit. And he sent me a link to an ABA program to check out what they offer. And that link….yep, it was to Jane’s ABA center! Hello full circle. Hello Gods voice and direction. Thank you Brad.

I immediately reached out to Jane. And she immediately said we have a lot of work to do, but we will do it and she will be successful. We will have to disenroll her from public school and enroll her in their center/program. She will attend 830-430 daily. And she will receive therapy and education in an environment designed specifically for kiddos like Iz. Her Medicaid will pay 100% of fees. I will have to adjust my work a little, but I think they will be open to that. We haven’t committed yet, but I have a phone call Monday with Jane to get our long list of questions answered. Stay tuned.

I feel peace. And that is a good place to be.