Izzy and Brad has their first virtual session tonight. She followed his one rule (phone is not in the same room as their session) and of course had to give him a tour of the house and introduce him to all of the animals and show him her comfy therapy space. So with the 10 minutes we had left, they worked hard. 😂. Just kidding, the tour and introductions were quick and if Brad is prone to motion sickness I’m sure he was really glad when she stopped flinging the iPad this way and that! They talked for about an hour. She was highly distracted at first, but settled in and Brad talked her through how she handled Period #1 and her past several days at school. I’ve been forwarding him her daily behavior charts to give him insight into her days so he can read, from the school, how her frustration has transitioned into anger and disrespect really rapidly nearly every day at school and at home.

On a regular basis, they talk about her different selfs…her anger part (fights for justice when she feels wronged)… her guilty part (engages after anger has subsided)…her anxiety and sadness parts, her autism parts and of course her happy/silly parts. And tonight in that discussion, Brad gave her two words to write down and asked her if she thought she knew the difference between them. The words:

Aggressive

Assertive

He challenged her to take her frustration at a situation and lead it away from being aggressive and toward being assertive. Because aggression is anger, disrespect, shut down mode. Being assertive is more constructive. It can allow for standing up for ones self, but without the anger. Without the disrespect. And instead, with power, problem solving and confidence. It will take practice. It will take time. But he’s going to work with her to help her learn to remind herself and move herself from one to the other. I love it. The minute he asked her to write those two words on her white board I thought “Yes! He’s on to something!”

He started her on it right away. Izzy had an interaction with a classmate today where the classmate wanted something Izzy had because Izzy wasn’t being productive in their group work and this classmate wanted to be. When the classmate reached for the object, Izzy pushed her hand away…the classmate said she slapped her arm away. Semantics. 🙄 But anyway, the classmate told on Iz, admin was called to talk with Iz about it and they suggested her apologize. Iz refused to apologize.

Izzy shared this situation with Brad. so he had her retell the story replacing the aggression with being assertive. With his guidance, she did it! And she saw how the story and the outcome would have been different (more positive for Izzy) with being assertive rather than aggressive.

I love this. It’s so simple. So understandable. It won’t be easy for her. Aggression is her go to. But she seemed to understand what he was asking her to do and I think will work toward that end goal once we beat it into her head for awhile!

I praise God that this first session went pretty well. I learned some things—like don’t allow the animals to roam freely in/out of her room, they’re a distraction, and have a snack and water at the ready so she doesn’t have an excuse to roam during Bradtime. Oh and maybe, just maybe, if he tells her enough times that her bedroom is such an amazing space, maybe she’ll sleep in there!