For the last month in therapy, Brad has been asking us to draw our family as planets. Creating a VonBlon solar system. Everyone has made their solar system but me, although in true Kira style, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my VonBlon solar system looks like. My solar system includes planets shaped like a puzzle piece, a peace sign, a rock (more like a boulder) and a mama bear. Those who know us certainly know who is who.

My puzzle piece got her puzzle piece diagnosis this past week. It’s funny how you think you’re ready for a diagnosis, until you GET the diagnosis. Something about seeing the words “Autism Spectrum Disorder” on a report that makes it all so much more real. Real and forever. A forever diagnosis. A diagnosis that explains why she’s different, but doesn’t make living with the hard parts of her difference any easier. A diagnosis that gives her an IEP at school and a possible Medicaid Waiver from the government and a host of therapy opportunities, but doesn’t make the heartbreak any less or the work ahead of us any easier. A diagnosis she will carry with her every day. Along with the diagnoses of ADHD, anxiety, depression and trichotillomania. That’s a lot to carry for one child. Although she is a strong, resilient child she is still a child.

My to do list for Izzy is long, our options many and our village stepping into action. I have to contact IN Medicaid (God help me), figure out the best autism-based therapy, and help get her IEP written while continuing to get her to BrainPaint and family therapy, llama rabbits and cat workshops for 4H, and help her finish her 5th grade assignments, activities and responsibilities. But on the top of my list is I just have to keep loving her, supporting her, and finding ways to make her life easier.

In the meantime our VonBlon solar system–the puzzle piece, the peace sign, our rock and mama bear–just put one foot in front of the other. Always moving forward. Together.